Of Domination and Submission
by xgossamerstars
Summary: Love is not need, and need is not love. Taichi learns the hard way.


No one ever really knew how Taichi came to be the uke. Back in the Digiworld, he had always been their leader, though it went without saying that Yamato was a begrudging follower. (Then again, Yamato was a begrudging anything.)

Still, the Chosen Ones had grown used to seeing sulky Yamato with hyper, cheerful Taichi. Everywhere Yamato went, you could be sure that Taichi was not far behind. No one could tell if this pleased or displeased Yamato, since the lead singer rarely showed emotion unless he was performing. Even Taichi was unsure of his boyfriend's exact feelings.

It was one of the only troublesome factors in Taichi's otherwise blithe existence. Taichi had tried very hard not to let anything trouble him since their return from the Digiworld years before, so lucky he was to be alive. In fact, Yamato's distance was the only thing to trouble him since he was faced with the quandary of confessing his feelings to him. His friends had all known that Yamato was gay long before they suspected it of Taichi. Yamato wore girl jeans, he became annoyed if he didn't have his eyeliner, and he refused to wear loose tshirts. He also straightened his hair, got manicures, and regarded Kyo from Dir en Grey as one of the sexiest men alive. This might also be why it was so difficult to see Yamato as the seme; he was easily more feminine than Taichi, whose jeans always hung as low as possible on his hips and whose hair looked sort of like roadkill beaver. When the two finally got together, they all expected to see Taichi take charge, as he always had in years gone by.

It quickly became evident that Taichi was not in charge. Yamato scarcely paid attention to him in public, unless it was to tell the affectionate Taichi to lay off the PDA. Taichi always did as he was told, looking distinctly sad as he murmured, "Forgive me, Yama." Taichi's overly-affectionate nature quickly become a bone of contention between the two, and hot, spiteful fights began to spring up between them at any given moment. No one saw these fights, however—as much as Yama was in the spotlight, he refused to let anyone see what went on in his and Taichi's personal life.

Taichi knew exactly why Yamato was seme he was uke. Part of it had to do with Taichi's domination fetish; Child of Courage though he was, something about Yamato had always frightened him. He knew Yamato would never hurt him, but there was some small thrill in knowing that he could, should he ever take the notion. But it soon became apparent to Taichi that that was not the only factor. He began to wish that Yamato would hurt him; physical pain was nothing compared to the sting of Yamato's words. It was during one of their terrible fights that Taichi had learned why Yamato dominated every fiber of his being, and the realization had hurt him worse than any physical injury he had ever sustained.

Taichi couldn't even remember why they had begun fighting in the first place, but it always came back to the same thing for Taichi. This particular fight had been different, because he had actually voiced his opinion to Yamato, which proved to be a very, very bad idea.

"Honestly, Taichi, I don't understand you. What do you want from me?" Yamato had asked, in that antagonizingly emotionless voice.

"How can you not see it?" Taichi had cried, clutching his hair angrily. "How can you not see how you hurt me, how can you not realize what you're doing to me!"

"Please, enlighten me," Yamato had said. "I love you, Taichi, so tell me your problem."

Taichi had laughed bitterly. "If you love me, Yamato, why don't you ever act like it?"

Taichi wanted to cry every time he remembered Yamato's cruel blue eyes, staring at him as if Yamato were mildly amused. "I do love you, Taichi. I love you, but I certainly don't need you."

With that he had walked into their bedroom and shut the door.

Taichi remembered standing in stunned silence, until the full meaning of Yamato's words sunk in. He wanted to run, to leave their apartment forever and never, ever come back, but as soon as he went for the door something else sunk in; something even more cruel; he needed Yamato.

It was true, so painfully true.

Taichi had returned to the living room slowly; he knew what he had to do, he knew what it would take to get Yamato to take him back. Yamato loved knowing that he was the dominant one, or perhaps he just loved seeing Taichi helpless. Either way, Taichi had pulled his shirt off, revealing the eight-pack abs on which Yamato would occasionally compliment him. He went to the door to their bedroom. Tears stung his eyes as he knocked; they flowed freely when the door was opened; they made his voice crack as he'd mumbled, "I need you, Yama. I need so much of you. Take me...please."

"I knew you'd be here," had been Yamato's reply, his voice still devoid of emotion.

He had studied the brokenhearted creature in front of him for a moment, then reached out and pulled Taichi inside by his belt loops. Their hips crushed together for a moment and Yamato laughed when he saw Taichi's face, a terrible mixture of physical pleasure and emotional pain.

Yamato had stripped him roughly, taking off his own clothes as he went. Minutes later Taichi found himself facedown on the mattress, his mouth gagged, his hands cuffed, tears of pain and sadness pouring down his cheeks as Yamato proved his dominance.


End file.
